Wednesday, August 4, 2010

My Marco. Life will never be the same.

I adopted Marco in October of 2008. He was the cat my ex had adopted from PetSmart to entertain his part-time children. (He only had weekend custody...and knowing what I know now, he should be banned from having access to anything with cells.)It was several months in to the relationship before I was invited to his "studio" apartment. (If "studio" means one room sewage plant with central AC.)He hadn't cleaned his toilet in the 2 years he lived there. He had a shower in the same space he prepared food, and did his dishes in a bathroom sink that was infested with ants no matter the weather. He also had Marco.
Marco was an emaciated, dehydrated gray long haired cat who, no matter how much the ex abused him, would still return for a hopeful scratch behind the ears. (90% of the time, the ex would take this trusting and hopeful nature to abuse Marco even further.) He would pin Marco to the floor under his boot heel and poke objects in the cats face. He would pick Marco up by the tail and hold him just an inch above the ground and laugh as the cat struggled to grab the carpet for footing. The poor cat would writhe in pain and anger and the ex took this as a signal to torment the cat even more intensely. Because the ex was such an upstanding fellow and concerned with setting an example for his children, his two sons would also torment and torture Marco. (Two little Jeffrey Dahmers in the making, I'm afraid.) And poor Marco, having been subjected to this torment for 4 years yet still having to rely on the sadistic fuck for food was suffering a feline case of Stockholm Syndrome.
The ex wouldn't actually provide food for the cat, but rather would set a bowl of Fruity Pebbles on the floor next to the toilet. Sometimes if he was lucky, a package a bologna would spoil in the rot infested refrigerator and Marco would get to indulge in the shreds of rotten meat. The only water available was the filthy toilet water, or water left on the floor after a shower.
I was determined to get the cat. I was going to take him.
After discovering the appalling life the ex chose to lead, I was anxious to exit the relationship. But not before I got the cat.
One day the d-bag called to tell me he had to leave town on "business" (if business means to have an illicit weekend in an Arizona hotel with a woman he had met only on the phone....) He said he was leaving the key under the mat could I check on his cat.
I purchased a one-time cat carrier and went to the hovel. I coaxed Marco out of hiding and fought him to get inside the box. I still have scars on my hands from where he scratched and bit repeatedly. Poor cat was terrified. He wailed all the way home. I brought him to my place and set up my bedroom for him. Brand new and CLEAN cat box, fresh water, all the cat food he could ever eat, and a big bed to hide under.
After about 2 weeks he started to tentatively come out of the room. He would sit in the doorway and glare at me, then bolt back to safety if I so much as blinked.
After 4 weeks, he would sit apprehensively on the opposite end of the couch, again very skittish.
By week 8, he was sleeping curled next to me at night and taking treats from my hand.
He became my ultimate love. My entire life revolved around making him happy. I bought him a water fountain that would trickle fresh water tantalizingly 24 hours a day. I chose expensive, holistic foods to nourish him. And there wasn't a flat surface in my house that didn't have a bag of his favorite Good Life Recipe treats. After about a year of my nurturing and indulgences, Marco was roughly twice his original weight and deemed "healthy and very content" by our veterinarian.
Marco got used to a pet carrier eventually as I had to take him for vaccinations, checkups and groomings. He got attached to his brand new, soft-side carrier and would take naps inside, peeking slyly through the mesh screened windows.
Marco would greet me every time I unlocked the door or would sit in a favorite perch in whichever room I was in, but always had to have me in view.

He liked just being near me. He would curl up behind my keyboard while I typed. He would nip at my ankle if I was crafting for too long and hadn't acknowledged him. He would bring me a fuzzy toy at least once a day as his "gift" (a pleasant alternative to the giant Japanese Beetles he so loved.)There were a thousand ways he showed me every day how grateful he was.

Marco softened me. Marco gave me a reason to love. Marco was an unconditional recipient of everything I had to offer. No bullshit. No games.
Marco was my life.

On Saturday, July 24th, Marco left my world after having been let out accidentally while I was away, he got into the street and was struck by a car. I have grieved this loss possibly harder than I have grieved the loss of any human. I am in shock that whatever higher powers there are would subject him to such a horrific life for four years, and snatch him away after less than two years of happiness. Marco deserved better from this world.
Whatever higher powers there are have played a nasty little game with me.
My life will not be the same without Marco.

If you see my ex,(hard to miss; blond hair he wears in a faux 1950's gelled pomp, weighs no more than a bicycle, and a total wimp) do me a favor, tell him karma's looking for him.
And karma can't be evaded.


  1. I am so sorry for your loss, our animal friends can certainly become our family. Please be comforted in the fact that you gave Marco 2 years of happiness away from his hell of a life before. Across the Rainbow bridge our animal family members do pad softly away from us and far sooner than we want or expect. I believe one day you will go across also and Marco will greet you with love in his eyes... and a head butt to your ankles. Blessed Be..

    And Karma is a *Mighty Bitch* and the bastard will pay a nasty price when he hears her tune. ;)

  2. Rick William Allen can suck it in hell, here & in the hereafter.

    My condolences on your loss.

  3. I am so sorry for your loss. You gave Marco a wonderful life and I too believe that he will be waiting and purring on the other side. In the mean time, you have so much love to give, there is another "Marco" out there somewhere in need of some love and attention. Take care.

  4. Way to make a girl cry. So heartfelt, so honest, so sad. Beautifully written.

  5. Thank you so much for all your kind words! I can only hope I can save another one from a similar life.

    Ahhh, karma...she does like to keep a balanced book. Rick William Allen...your debt is due.

  6. How can people do taht to animals. Marco was an angel and you loved him and he loved you.

    I grieve with you. Your heart must be breaking. This is a loving and lovely tibute to a truly beautiful soul.

    Bless you Marco, go safely to the Rainbow Bridge and wait for your Mum there.

  7. Marco had an Angel from earth come into his life, when he needed one so desperately!
    You are such a kind soul, I'm so so sorry for your loss. I'm really at a loss for words.... but you know I care. Love ya!

  8. You and Marco were very lucky to find one another. Even though your time together was short, you made his life immeasurably better.

  9. Annabelle, thank you so much! You always know just what to say.
    (I didnt know you had a Blogger account!)

    Thank you, Vicki!

  10. I am so sorry for the loss of sweet Marco. Thank goodness you were able to save him from a life of misery, so that he knew love and kindness.

    I hope, when your heart heals, you can open your heart and home to another cat who desperately needs a loving home.

    Rest in peace, Marco.

  11. I came over from Whiskr's blog to tell you how sorry I are about your loss. Marco sounds like such a wonderful cat - and thank you so much for rescuing him from such an awful life (I sincerely hope your ex is never allowed to have another animal!)

    I feel certain that Marco is OK now - and I am so glad that he was able to have some happy years with you. But I also know that you must really be hurting - it is so hard to lose a beloved pet.

    (((hugs))) and purrs from Katie and the Mishkat cats

  12. I'm so very sorry for the loss of Marco. Your story brought tears to my eyes, hearing how the poor boy had to suffer, and then tears of gladness on seeing that your kindness and your refusal to turn a blind eye allowed Marco to love and relax and be safe and content and know happiness. You changed every aspect of his life, and I will be forever thankful to know that there are people like you on this earth.

    Rest in Peace, Marco.

  13. I'm so sorry for the loss of Marco. I love my pets as if they were my children & I can't imagine loosing them. Your story really touched me & I'm happy you were able to give Marco a better life. The world needs more people like you.

  14. Came here after seeing your post on the Etsy forums, what a beautiful tribute to a beautiful soul. Please take comfort if you can from the fact that you gave Marco two years of love he would never otherwise have had.

    And I'm hope karma is be waiting right around the next corner for Ricky, what an unspeakable!

  15. Oh dear, sorry for the spelling and grammar mistakes in that post - eeek!!



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I peruse thrift shops like a junkie. I find such amazing things sometimes that I wanted to share them. I tinker with glass and a hot soldering iron as time allows. I have a collection of thousands of glass beads carefully selected and purchased with the excuse I will make jewelery, but I can't bear to part with a single bead. Not one!! So don't even ask! Ok, you can have one.